You may remember a certain member of a certain clergy telling of his excitement when he (or she) found out that Stephen Colbert, political satirist extraordinaire, was coming to Cornell.  You may also recall kittens being involved and/or swallowed, but that's neither here nor there.  Well this morning, at 9 a.m. Eastern Standard Time, the Cornell community collectively unhinged their jaws and swallowed that kitten in excitement, just as that clergyman may have insinuated.

Tickets for Colbert's show are selling like hot cakes.  Hot cakes made out of gold.  And laced with cocaine.  Bottom line is this, the reserved seats are long gone and that was only 20 minutes after they went on sale.  I offer good luck tidings to anyone still in search of tickets to permit entry to the venue, and recommend that you try buying them here first.  Hurry if you're a Cornell student/community member because in just 2 short, sweet, supple days those tickets will be on sale to the filthy general public.  What with their diseases and poverty and non-Ivy League educations.  I shudder at the thought.  I take that back; I shuddered because I tried to drink a Slurpee entirely way too fast.  C'est la vie.