Several restaurants in the College Park area have ditched their gluttonous ways and dropped the use of trans fat oils, reportedly linked to an increased risk of heart disease.

While the effort made by such establishments is encouraging, it seems to ring in pretty low on the College Park health-and-safety priority scale. There are muggings, assaults, bar brawls, intruders, gangs–but at least no trans fats! For most people running to Route 1 for some midnight munchies, heart attack anxiety is greatly overshadowed by a fear of getting robbed. Possibly even tasered.