Note for non-Dartmouth kids: Dick's House is Dartmouth health services.

Everyone loves f-cking rankings, especially college rankings. People like reading them because people are naturally bitchy and rankers like publishing their "findings" because it creates buzz and attention.

I love rankings too, I'm not going to lie.

It's nice to be able to point to something pseudo-substantial to prove that the average bra-cup of College A is higher than College B, and thus, College A has a better library. You know? Because rankings just make sense.

Anyways, Trojan Condoms hopped onto the rankings train and since 2006 has released a ranking of sexual health programs at American universities.

"The survey, conducted by the data analysis company Sperling’s BestPlaces, used data from 9,000 student responses solicited through advertisements on Facebook."

What?...

1) People pay attention to the advertisements on the sides of their Facebooks?

2) Some people click on these?

3) Does anyone remember seeing these?

4) Who the hell took these?

To answer questions 1-4:

 

"The 28 Dartmouth students who responded to the survey gave the College’s sexual health services an average score of 4.3, on a 10-point scale."

These rankings sound more legitimate the more I read. You can read more about the survey here, where Trojan pretty much admits how stupid their rankings were. I'm pretty sure I posted about these rankings last year but I'm too lazy to find it.

Anyways, Dartmouth dropped to a low 68th place out of the 139 colleges surveyed, from a comfortable 25th place last year.

The Ivy League had the best overall sexual health grades out of the major athletic conferences. Dartmouth received the lowest ranking in the Ivy League.

Remember to have safe sex everyone!

For girls, that means staying away from AD brothers

For guys, that means staying away from the girls that frequent AD.