Party nights at Dartmouth (M, W, F, & Sat) are always followed by a string of lost-jacket Blitzes. They're usually of the same sort:

"Sorry! I know everyone must hate this, but last night my friends and I started out partying at SAE, then went to TriKap, ChiGam, SigEp, BG, PsiU, and then back to SigEp. Somewhere between TriKap and PsiU, I lost my black Northface fleece with my cellphone, ID, family heirlooms, and life savings inside! Please return it back to me--REWARD!!!!"

But every once in a while, a post-party Blitz comes along that's worth mentioning...

"from: Ellen [Name Redacted] <Ellen.X.Doe@dartmouth.edu>
date: Sun, Apr 27, 2008 at 8:22 PM
subject: hey big guy
mailed-by: dartmouth.edu

You had a rough night last night, didn't you?

I realized this when you came into my room at 5:30, took off your pants, and
tried to get into my bed. Since I didn't recognize you (as it was dark, because
it was 5:30 AM), I steered you out of my room. I hope you got home safely, and
I would have made sure, but you were trying to get back into my room.

Anyway, you forgot your pants. So send me a blitz if you want them (and your
cell phone, and your shoes) back.

Got it? Sweet.

Yeah, and I'd offer to Collis Info Desk them, but that's no fun for me."
I'm proud to go to Dartmouth.