Growing up, my school district had its share of scandal and deviance among classmates, but upon chatting with the children (and I use the term children loosely) of this generation, I can’t help but be shocked at their own knowledge and experience. Now, I don’t mean to come off all Elizabeth Hasselbeck-y, however, it breaks my heart to hear an eleven year old talk about oral sex. I’m sure many of you at some point have had a casual conversation with a friends’ younger sibling or even a little cousin and were surprised to find them talking on your level, or even making some inappropriate reference that went over your own head. You hear the same old tune, year after year, “kids today…” But, I can’t help but raise this question, has anything really changed? Are the kids today really more sexually savvy than we were ten years ago? Have the merchandising of Bratz dolls and the sensation of the **** Cat Dolls, really just the corruption of the notion of dolls all together (What ever happened to American Girls and Baby Born?) made it more acceptable for little girls to “loosen up” their “buttons?” Or are we only now noticing because we’ve finally got our own heads out of the clouds?

Take for instance, the new craze in gummy candy, Hannah Montana style. When I first encountered the not so inconspicuous Disney packaging, I thought it was a joke. The flesh colored “guitar” and microphone shaped gummies are suspiciously reminiscent of phallic form, and sweet little Hannah’s pose, mouth wide open, for the microphone, is nothing short of suggestive.  I bowed my head in silence for the generation of young girls today, who I presumably thought of as f****d (pun not intended.)

I felt an immediate sense of nostalgia for the rocker candy of my generation, the Spice Girls’ lollipops. Oh, how modest we were back then. I wondered what happened to that good old sense of merchandising with integrity as I Google an image for this article. It was then that I had somewhat of a disturbing realization. “Fantasy Ball” lollipops were no more innocent than the Hannah Montana phallic shaped gummies. The oral pose of Miley Cyrus was no more suggestive than Ginger Spice’s packaging, complete with tongue complete with bedroom eyes.  I know you all remember her little British flag getup.  Could you imagine the uproar that would happen if Hannah ever pulled out a costume like that?