No Ball Scratching Here

No Ball Scratching Here
If you scratch your balls, UPD will be on your ass.

The Hatchet's recent crime log reports on September 13th that UPD barred someone from campus for scratching their genitals. But he was itchy! As the Hatchet describes:
"University Police Department officers received a report of a suspicious individual touching his genitals next to the Foggy Bottom Metro stop. Officers responded and interviewed the man, who was sitting on a park bench. The individual claimed he was merely scratching his genitals. He was determined to be unaffiliated with University. Subject barred from campus."

Now you know! Itching in Foggy Bottom is a crime, and violaters will be punished. If you need to scratch, best to head over to Georgetown and do your business there.

 

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