Throw JoePa in a ring with some gladiators and betcha he wins. And he's 80!

Johnny Quest seems to think that having the guy who played a gladiator give your team a speech is going to turn your season around. It's a movie! He's not Maximus, he's Just Russell Crowe. A guy who throws telephones at people in hotels and is in a band called Thirty Odd Foot Of Grunt. And we have an 80-year-old coach who makes out players clean the stadium after games ... twice.

Michigan is probably going to play their freshman quarterback Ryan Mallet, and the Penn State D will quickly introduce him to a face-full of turf, the way they did with Notre Dame's freshman "phenom" Jimmy Clausen. And don't give me Mike Hart. He blew his load last week. Don't hear him "guaranteeing" a win this week.

Here's the bottom line, the fans are dead. The team is beaten. Eight years is enough. We Are ... Gonna Kick Your Ass.

And here's some names for you to remember Johnny: Dan Connor, Derrick Williams, Justin King. And that Italian guy that plays QB, his name's Anthony Morelli. He might have a fruity armband tattoo, but he's gonna light up your secondary on Saturday.