According to IvyGate, graduating seniors with aspirations of making it on Wall Street should re-evaluate their short-term career goals–as soon as possible.

Speaking to an unidentified Ivy-Leaguer-turned-investment-banker, Dan Haley confirmed that, due to the current economic climate, internships at financial firms have become the unicorn of the job market.

IvyGate: What's going to happen to students applying for internships this year?

Banker: They're done. They need to say goodbye to their Wall Street dreams. It's not going to happen.

In other words, it’s time to start studying for the LSATs, or if you're feeling adventurous, the MCATs.

Oh, and don’t fool yourself into thinking that things will be rosy come May 2009 either.

IvyGate: Your thoughts on the broader economy?

Banker: Many effects of the economic recession have not been felt yet. After Christmas, there will be a new wave bankruptcies as a result of the drop in consumer spending and corresponding loan and mortgage defaults.

Jeez, I hope no one invites this ball of sunshine to my next birthday party.

Doom and gloom on a lovely Thursday afternoon; just how I like it.