So, I'm a junior now and I figured I should start preparing for my future. And since my current Facebook interests include "partying like a rockstar" I'm going to need all the luck I can get to get a job when I graduate. So in an effort to send a little karma my way I've decided to answer a few mind-boggling questions posted on Facebook and give advice to incoming freshman who are apparently clueless when it comes to 'Cuse college culture.

P.H. asks "does anyone know when we get our roommate assignments? im curious!"
Ms. Possible: It doesn't matter. It's not going to work out. You'll be as close as a Long Island girl and her tights and then one fateful day the slut will  break your Chanel sunglasses or the douche won't get you on the list for SigEp. Friendship lost.

M.S. asks "any parties the first weekend we're up there??"
Ms. Possible: Duh. Are you stupid? You'll get trashed, then break your mom's heart when she calls the next day and asks if you are ready to come home and you reply with HELL NO!

M.S.  from Oklahoma asks "i'm in Newhouse. i'm a hick that needs a friend...or twenty. please?"
Ms. Possible: Unless your parents are well known in the media circuit, no. I have standards.

B.D. asks "is it lame to try to meet people this way? Kinda, but what are we to do? .. add me up if u want =)"
Ms. Possible: I will say yes, only because there's a good chance you're related to a certain popular wigga basketball player. Tell Eric his Justin Timberlake persona is sexy.