In the span of four months, Harvard’s $36.9 billion endowment, which is currently the largest in the world, fell by 22 percent, or roughly $8 billion.

Eight. Billion. Dollars.

Think about that number for a second: that’s larger than the Gross National Product of more than ten countries, and it’s almost certainly a greater sum than the endowments of 99.9 percent of the other universities in America—and probably, the world.

Needless to say, we should probably put the more frazzled alumni, investors and trustees on Suicide Watch.

The Crimson reports:

The estimate of 22 percent may not fully capture the actual losses from this period, Forst said in an interview yesterday, as some of Harvard’s money is invested with external managers that have yet to report their latest figures. Faust and Forst wrote in yesterday’s letter that the University should plan for a 30 percent drop-off in endowment value for the year ending June 30, 2009.

[…]The Faculty of Arts and Sciences placed a freeze on staff hiring last week, following a cautionary letter from Faust a month earlier that warned of cutbacks ahead.

Yesterday’s figure dwarfs Harvard’s worst single-year endowment loss of 12.2 percent in 1974. The endowment has clocked only three years of negative returns, all under three percent, in the subsequent three decades.

Imagine: This is only after four months. Harvard’s endowment is shrinking faster than an erection at the sight of Rosie O’Donnell.

By year’s end, expect Harvard to shed its Ivy League moniker when it is forced to go public school.