Yesterday, Matthew M. Di Pasquale, Harvard ’09, released the inaugural issue of his brand new campus nude magazine “Diamond.”

No, your eyes are not deceiving you. The words ‘Harvard’ and ‘nude magazine’ were just uttered in the same sentence – and not for the sake of a joke either!

Sadly, those hoping to check out the e-zine and see some lovely Harvard ladies in the buff will be sorely disappointed, as the only individual naked in the first issue is Di Pasquale himself.

In other words, Diamond is more like Playgirl than Playboy, contrary to what other blogs have reported.

Thankfully, there are only four pictures of Di Pasquale naked, but the rest of the magazine is filled with uninteresting articles, which is proof positive that Harvard students not named “Lena Chen” simply don’t understand the foreign concept known as ‘sex’.

Here’s a tip to help you along, Mr. Di Pasquale: no one reads Playboy/Playgirl for the articles, and no one will pick up your ill-fated magazine just to see your hairy-man ass and flaccid penis.

Check out the first issue of Diamond here, but don't say we did not warn you.