Anne Michael Langguth (a name which, I'm sorry, evokes George Michael Bluth in a serious way) is politicking to become the next Miss Iowa.  Next: Miss America.  Next: THE WORLD!!!

Aspirations of world domination aside, Miss George Michael is currently raising money to benefit the Children's Miracle Network in an attempt to steal our hearts.  If I could offer a few words of advice, she would do well to forget about the children and use this money to buy herself a nice big pair of fake boobs.  Fake boobs--not miracles--win pageants.

All joking aside, I'm sure she's a lovely girl.  See you in rehab in 2 years.

If you care, donate some of your hard-earned Goldman stipend to George Michael Bluth to catapult her to the top of the pageant circuit.