Natalie Portman '03 has spoiled absolutely everything by revealing that she used a body double in the nude torture scenes of the recently released Goya's Ghost. And by "spoiled absolutely everything," I mean she's foiled my attempts to post dirty pictures of her on this site.

Portman says "there's a long shot of a nude woman, but it's not me." She further states that  "you do see some parts of me unclothed, but if they end up on websites making it look like I'm nude, I'm going to be really, really angry."

Well, guess what, Natalie? I'm doing it anyway! And I'm saving my ten bucks and spending it on real torture porn. Take that!