Sun Staff Adds "Eclipse", Doesn't Understand Astronomy

Sun Staff Adds "Eclipse", Doesn't Understand Astronomy
The Daily Sun has recently come to the conclusion that they need to amp up their daily publication.  You might ask, "But how?  How on Earth could the staff make The Sun more Sun-ny?"  With an Eclipse!  That's how!

Eclipse, which I first noticed Friday (when it was introduced), is described by the paper as "an eight-page, magazine-style supplement to The Sun" and, presumably, will focus on weekend events.  Some would argue that, no matter what the purpose of the supplement, the name makes about as much sense as an elf threatening a Transformer.  Perhaps it's just my keen sense of reason that blocks the "bigger picture", but doesn't an Eclipse block out and overshadow The Sun?  So by this rationale, The Sun is gone and we shouldn't even look at it.  Unless of course you have one of those black things that let you look at it (remember in elementary school?), but even then it's risky.

Rejected names for the supplement include The Cornell Daily Moon (even though it would only come out on Fridays which isn't quite daily); The Flare (oh, like a solar flare!  Now I get it!); Horizons (I'm genuinely lost on this one); Sunspark (this sounds like a bad, local boy band that would be relegated to performing solely at gay bars); and The Weekend Edition (which oozes with personality and pop).  I might've gone in a more dramatic tone, something like "I Have No Sun; You're Dead to Me.  I Disown You, Sun."  Then again, maybe that's a bit cumbersome and perhaps reflects too much of my own personal life and not enough about the weekends.  I just don't know anymore.

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