It’s not a typical day at JMU if you don’t hear someone (either the guy that just found out he’s got “the clap” from his weekend triumph or the girl that can’t stand hearing her roommate attempt to have drunk sex until she finally passes out) calling a girl a slut, hoebag, whore, etc. It’s also become expected to be called these names by the traveling evangelist Bible preacher, Brother Micah Armstrong.

After reading the book, “Who Will Rise Up?” by Jed Smock in 1995, Armstrong set off with the determination of Lance Armstrong (no relation) to make sure college students were informed about their life after graduation. It’s not a 40-hour a week desk job and it’s not backpacking through Europe or living unemployed in your parent’s basement watching The Fresh Prince re-runs all day, it’s H-E-double hockey sticks. That’s right, HELL!

This Brothaaa spends his time screaming at students and getting in their face—condemning the civil rights movement, calling all girls whores that should get back into the kitchen, and my favorite, sending masturbators to hell (I guess we’re all going, then!)

Personally, the week he comes is usually my favorite week of school. After the initial spouts of anger are over, I take this man for what he is—a rare lunatic that I almost feel sorry for.

You never feel more like a college student than when debate and protest break out (it’s almost like getting a taste of what my parents got to enjoy in the ‘60s and ‘70s).

However, faculty and students are petitioning to ban the preacher-from-another-planet thus depriving me of my entertainment on my walk to class. If we can’t say what we want anymore on a freakin’ college campus where the free speech movement began, we might as well move to China!

All those who want to continue to be condemned for masturbating by Brother Armstrong, UNITE!