If you happen to see a man who looks like the lovechild of John Locke from “Lost” and a turtle, phone the police immediately: he’s wanted for bank robbery.

At 4:40 pm on Wednesday, August 9th, John-Locke-Turtle-Man walked into the Bank of America on State Street and demanded money from a teller. He claimed to have a gun, although police reported no weapons were seen. Really, a weapon was probably unnecessary, as the bank teller was likely too terrified and confused by the man’s frightening appearance to resist, perhaps thinking, “Shouldn’t you be lost on an island?” and, “How did this turtle learn to speak my language?”

Anyone with information on this man should call (805) 897-2355, but not before trying to get some “Lost” spoilers out of him.