In April, Franklin Martin, a reserve offensive lineman on the football team, was indicted for rape charges. Then the charges were changed to assault and battery, and Franklin entered an Alford plea, which, instead of “guilty” or “not guilty,” means that there is enough evidence for conviction. He was, well, uh, convicted on Tuesday, and given a $2,500 fine, $2,000 of which was suspended as long as Franklin stays in good relations with the court and stays away from the victim.

Now, Franklin lived in my dorm freshman year, and always was a very friendly guy. A little too friendly, perhaps, in a hilarious “my huge football body will easily crush yours in a seductive embrace that will last way too awkwardly long” sort of way.

Anyway! I never considered any of that – affection? – as assault. Did this girl take it too seriously? Did he take the joke too far? Will Franklin ever get to play football again? Does the Facebook group “I’ve been molested by Franklin” (or something like that, I think I used to be a member) still exist? Is this now an inappropriate inside joke? Can I continue to write a whole paragraph in all questions?