So I am a regular internet surfer, typing in things like "odd news" and "unique ideas"...but this is on that I was even surprised about. It's called the Masturbate-a-thon. 

This coming May will be the 8th year that the M-bate-a-thon will be undertaken, during what is actually National Masturbation Month (go figure right?)

Although you may have read this far and been like...oh god...thats so sick and twisted, hear me out. The concept behind this project is in fact quite wholesome and has a good purpose behind it. 

As you probably have noticed "safe sex" education has been ridiculed quite strongly in academics below the college level, and subsequently kids go out there and start accidentally having kids of their own. It's a bad thing. Several organizations, however, are working to fund safe sex education. Two of these organizations, Good Vibrations, and the Center for Sex and Culture have taken on the mission of raising funds through the novel idea of a Masturbate-a-thon. 

Much like the bowl-a-thon concept that boy scouts and schools use to do fundraising, this system is based on sponsors. You can get sponsored for the number of orgasms, or the duration of time you masturbate. You can partake in the live events that occur around the world, including Copenhagen, England, San Francisco, and Washington...or now you are given the option to partake (in the given time frame) from home, or wherever you feel most comfortable spicing the sausage or ruffling the lady lace....whether thats the office bathroom, back seat of you grandmother's old caddy, or in the middle of farmer Johnson's cabbage patch. 

The point is to raise money for an important educational aspect that is neglected by local, state and national government on a massive scale. It brings together people from all around the world, working to help a common cause. One woman two years ago came all the way from Hong Kong (6900 mile) to partake in the event. 

Although not a COMPETITIVE event (they don't care how big your dong is or how clean you're shaven) there are certain awards given out. Currently the record for the longest male masturbation session at an event is 8 hours and 43 minutes, while the female record is right around 6 and a half hours. Longest ejaculatory shot belongs to a man who shot 92.5 inches (I could totally beat that), and the most times reaching orgasm are 49 times for a female and 6 times for a male...ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! only 6 times? Personally, now I dont know if I'm some sort of freak or not...but I can EASILY do 15 if given enough tissues, protein and fluids. 

Ask JTEverett...He knows my record...I'm not one to brag...but...I'm kinda a big deal.

Overall though, the Masturbate-a-thon is an ingenious idea for cummunity service and fund raising that I think we all have a duty to assist in. SO...this coming May, log into their website, download a sponsor form and go out there to get some sponsors. Ask that dorm neighbor who accidently walked in on you when you forgot to lock the door, or that professor you know is hooking up with a student and you can blackmail pretty easy...heck, ask your Aunt Edith with the lazy eye...just help the cause.

It's your duty, your mission, and you know you do it anyway!!