In an election already full of the accidentally absurd, The Onion provides some much needed intentional absurdity. And while this faux news source created by two students from the University of Wisconsin may not exactly be based on things like facts and reporting, that doesn’t mean they don’t stumble upon the truth every once in a while.
 

Just a few days before the inauguration of President Bush in 2001, The Onion published a story entitled “Bush: ‘Our National Nightmare of Peace and Prosperity Is Finally Over.’” As CNN explains, in The Onion story, Bush promises to take the country into a deep recession, worsen the environment and “end the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton.” Spooky.
 

That promise became painfully accurate, so what else does The Onion know that we don’t? Today’s election headlines on paper’s website include:

“Breaking News: Right-Handed McCain Claims He’s Been Campaigning Lefty All Along”
 

“Obama’s Record-Breaking Fundraising Effort Bankrupting NPR, World Wildlife Fund, ACLU”
 

“Need For More Places To Sit Becomes Election’s Most Important Issue”
 

“Struggling Lower-Class Still Unsure How Best To **** Selves With Vote”

If these stories are any indication, in four (or eight) years could we see a man who flip-flops on his “handedness” leading the country into a lack of seats where everyone gets ****ed? Sounds about right.