So, this is totally an unconfirmed rumor, but several sources have independently reported it.

It's pretty common knowledge that alumnus Lewis Black comes back to UNC every year to perform, teach people how to be funny, etc.  And, again, many students have heard rumors that he sometimes gets a little action along the way --wouldn't you if you were Lewis Black?  Everyone is fair game when you're a celeb on college campuses!  

But here's the sketchy part: the unconfirmed rumor still circulating is that, last year, Mr. Black, of Daily Show fame, spent some quality time with a Freshman... doing more than training her in the fine art of comedic timing.

So, according to UNC students, Black has been shoplifting some very young pooty! 

Who's the lucky girl/soldier-fighting-against-ageism that bravely endured a Lew Black tutoring session?  Nobody will say. But if she's not bragging about it now, she will be soon... or not, because he's forty years older...