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The spa scene has reached an, unexpectedly, low point. We thought the spa market was saturated, but we are clearly mistaken. Specifically, the New York metropolitan area is suffering from body spa megalomania, from hair removal spas, podiatry spas, botox spas, to ..... a vagina spa.
The New York Times "Fashion & Style" section, opened the majestic gateway to the GYNO-medi spa. When there's nothing left to glamorize, we must shift to beautifying the visit to the gyno. Dr. Lauri Romanzi will be opening the one-of-a-kind vajay spa on East 58th Street, as an extension of her private practice. The Phit Spa, PHIT stands for "pelvic health integrated techniques," was an idea Dr. Romanzi picked up after exiting her own "medi" session at the dental spa BriteSmile.
This might be odd, but I am perplexed by her seemingly organic shift from teeth to the vagina.
A visit to Romanzi will not be your average foot-in-stirrups experience. The $150 vaginal consultation will include a thorough rundown on the strength the "inner" muscles. Her services also include Kegel exercise sessions, in-office electrostimulation (cringe), "personal training" tips, and unproven promises of increased bladder control.
Dr. Romanzi, who is an associate professor of gynecology at the NY Presbyterian-Cornell Weill hospital, suggests that these services can even lead to intense, satisfying orgasms, which is probably the real message that will resonate with unrealistic women with disposable income. We don't even have dig into the social ramifications of suggesting these fluff vagina exercises. All I know is someone will soon tell me they are working on toning up their crotch, and I will die a little inside with the sad notion of electrical waves near any female genitalia. Actually, I've already died a little after reading about women in South Korea and Italy transplanting hair from their heads to the vagina, which is even more cringe-inducing than this vagina torture spa.
Dr. Romanzi is a character wrapped in a conundrum, smeared in toxic cultural waste, and, in my opinion, an all around evil genius. My favorite quote, "If you can vote and you have a vagina, you should do these, she said. It's the dental floss of feminine fitness." I am sure that Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton's bones are rattling against their respective resting places as we speak. The Women's Suffrage Movement was not intent on affording us unaffordable and unnecessary Kegel exercises.
....plus, can someone please explain the dental connection to the vagina I am still lost???
:::Cue a small tear for the future of vaginas everywhere:::