A freshman girl was wheeled out of Willard on a stretcher last Wednesday night, the second night of New Student Week.

Besides waiting a mere twenty-four hours before drinking herself into oblivion, the girl will face the rest of her year in Willard as "that girl," possibly having to pay damages on whatever it is she presumably puked all over.

Witnesses to the event didn't have much to say besides, "At least it wasn't me."

This marks another failed attempt at sobriety on campus and makes one wonder why they even bother calling NSW "dry."