Listed under "FREE - Star Wars History and Explication":

"I am offering my services in providing a historically accurate portrait of the Star Wars universe, including all sentient and most non-sentient creatures, for free. Learn why Oola the Twi-lek dancing girl decided to fight back against Jabba, thus sealing her fate. Figure out the truth behind Boba Fett's personal life. Learn the secrets held in the tiny Mos Eisley spaceport. We will be working with the original Star Wars IV-VI as the canonical episodes, using approved texts. All Star Wars I-III information and concomitant texts will be completely thrown out. All lessons served with love."

First of all, give yourself some credit, Star Wars Fan. How can you give out this apparently life-changing knowledge for free? Tutors get top dollar--you should too.

At least ask for a six-pack of Mike's Hard (start off slow, I'm sure space beer is a little lighter than Earth beer). Maybe you could teach in exchange for an invite to the next rager, to show off your sweet light saber skillz.

Readers, take heed before firing off a cute response: the poster is also a member of Northwestern University Boxing Club.