The Daily reported today that seriously, there is still no word on who the graduation speaker will be as the university is respecting his request for privacy. However, the article does have the following key clues from President Bienen:

"He is male, an 'extremely well-known person' and somebody who 'doesn't make a habit' of giving graduation speeches."

So much for the Oprah theory, unless she's going to become a man-lady (which is doubtful, despite how happy it would presumably make Gayle). Thankfully, this also kind of rules out former big rumor, Mayor Daley, as I doubt anyone outside of the city of Chicago would classify him as "extremely well-known."

A commenter guesses J.D. Salinger which, after going to Wikipedia to make sure he was still alive, doesn't seem like a bad guess.

According to the article, "his schedule is not revealed until a day in advance" so I guess we're looking at a June 19th announcement. Which is too obnoxious for words. Privacy be damned, I find it straight-up rude to be without name for this long. What is this mystery man so scared of?