Step 1: Don't be an idiot.

That's it. There is no step two. That is literally all you need to do to not get an MIP. For those of you who may not know what being an idiot consists of, let me elaborate:

- Do not throw a twelve person party in a dorm room that isn't physically big enough to house the two people who already live there. And remember, just because your door is closed, that does not make your room soundproof.
- Do not fall, fight or drink your way into the hospital. An MIP will be waiting for you along with a $2000 medical bill.
- Do not urinate somewhere that is in full view of over thirty people. And do not loudly proclaim to your audience that you are doing so.
- Most importantly, when you see those flashing lights, place whatever drink you're holding on the ground (now you're not in obvious possesion), refrain from yelling, "COPS! COPS!" (everyone already knows) and calmly walk to a new party (Police do not just grab random kids walking down the street, they need probable cause).

If you've managed to get yourself busted, here's what to do:

- If you're a guy with 1-6 drinks in you, run. DPS has better things to do than chase your ass over a fence. If you've had 6+ drinks and it's affecting your motor skills? You're probably screwed.
- If you're a girl with 1-4 drinks in you, flirt. It usually works, unless it's a girl cop, who will bust you out of jealously for her lost youth and beauty. If you've got 4+ in you, cry. This always works. It's why I almost never hear about girls getting MIPs.

Each MIP is a misdemeanor, but if you get three, it's a felony. Although really, if you're dumb enough to get three, you should be at MSU anyways. It's just really not that difficult to graduate without a rap sheet, so when you're about to do something ridiculous, in public, while intoxicated, stop and think: Would an idiot do that? If so, then do not do that thing.