My summer internship essentially revolves around sex: foot prop, unimaginable position and strap down sex. I am basically in charge of sorting through dozens of sex books every day, picking out the hot sex scenes from erotic novels and finding interesting sex facts. 

Some of this has obviously left me shocked, like I-didn’t-know-the-body-was-capable-of-that-kinky-position shocked. And the erotic sex scenes? So explicit I blush. I looked through one novel the other day but could not find one scene that didn’t involve the anus or a dildo. Which is totally cool if that’s what you’re into. But, I was stunned. I’m a prude… 

I figured it would be selfish of me to hoard all these earth-shattering and orgasm-inducing discoveries that would make me an institute of sexual knowledge and sexual prowess. So, here are some things I have learned. Be shocked. Take note and practice -- safely. 

1. There are techniques for giving handjobs. I know what you’re thinking: who gives a handjob?! And, until recently, I think my first—and last—handjob was in eighth grade. But, apparently there are 25 techniques, including the “Girl Scout” where you rub your hands up and down the shaft like you’re kindling a fire. Handjobs may be soooo middle school, but I really doubt your guy will complain. Thank me later.

2. The average sex lasts only about two to seven minutes. If you (or your man) are a quick pleaser, stop stressing. Not everyone is blessed with incredible, groin-straining, three-hour endurance. Just own up to your easy orgasm -- enjoy it, and then suit up for round two.
 

3. I saw a book recently that listed 101 places to have sex before you die. Some are pretty typical: the beach, a wedding, a corn maze—I mean who hasn’t? But number 71: the cemetery. Hot.
 

4. I can’t really explain the dozens of pictures of scandalous positions I have looked at, and then proceeded to turn the page sideways, perplexed at how these figures were getting their bodies like that. So, pick up my latest porn flick, and check them out for yourself.
         

Just kidding.