Friday night, 2:32 AM. Drunk girl is seen sitting by a tree on the Old Main lawn, sans pants. Bra is visible outside of shirt. Hair is falling in face. "Is that a boob?" someone asks. Drunk girl's friend is carrying said missing pants. Uh-oh. Friend lifts Girl up, they stagger together down the path way towards College Ave. Drunk girl's thunder thighs jiggle with every step.

Did Drunk girl get home? Is Drunk Girl still alive?

The audiences of late night State College may never know.