Actual post from Monday's morning digester:

HARRY POTTER 7
General Announcements
Sent by: Jill on Saturday, September 22, 2007 at 7:53 PM

Can I borrow yours? I need to read it! HOORAH!
HELP! Thanks fellow muggles. 

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Poor, HP7-less Jill.  Now not only will she be without the book, but, now that everyone knows she hasn't read The Deathly Hallows, she will likely be without friends.  She may know the HP lingo, but Pomona Potter fans--and there are a lot of 'em--will have no tolerance for a muggle who didn't read the book within 36 hours of its release.  

Duck when the Avada Kedavras come flying, Jill.

And the real question here: who the heck has the time to read a 700+ page book in the middle of the semester?