To whom it may concern,

While Julia Louis-Dreyfus was a pleasant surprise as last year's graduation speaker, let's be honest: Stephen Colbert is the most relevant alum we've got right now, making it prime time for a commencement speech from the man. If the writer's strike is still kicking come June, he probably won't even be too busy.

Please, throw us a bone here. Let's just put all of the money allocated for Senior Week, nay, all of the money for all of the Senior Weeks to come, towards getting Colbert for commencement. It's the least you can do after charging us so much money for the last four years.

Sincerely,
the Northwestern Class of 2008 (some of them at least)