Fact: Northwestern was voted the 10th most fashionable (or 2nd least fashionable, depending on how full your Big Gulp is) school in the Big 10 by Women's Wear Daily.

Fact: Clinton Kelly (of "What Not to Wear") is coming to marshall our homecoming parade. Coincidence?

One hopes that Clinton is going to do everything he can while waving his wand in the backseat of a convertible. Given his experience dressing cat ladies, video game nerds, and braless hippie wonders, he seems uniquely qualified to attack the major fashion problem at this school. Let's nominate a few especially heinous fashion victims to be thrown in the path of his car. We need our wealthy yet woefully dressed women to start learning that it's what's on the outside that counts.