I've really been trying to get into soccer--after all, there isn't anything on during the day besides Euro 2008 anyways.  My plan to enjoy the sport is semi-working (today I chose Turkey vs. Croatia over re-runs of MTV's Made, good choice), but I'm finding it difficult to really become a soccer fan for a few reasons:

1.  I feel stupid saying futbol...I do not have the cool, European accent necessary to use such a word.  Plus, Americans tend to think you are delirious if you are talking about last night's football game in the middle of June.

2.  I never know who to root for.  If I go by ancestry, I'm left with three teams.  I could go by who has the coolest jersey, but that's lame.  Rooting for whoever is winning is even more lame.  All I know is that I don't want to root for Italy...why is it that everyone I know roots for Italy?

3.  I never know what the fans are yelling.  I realize of course that there is a language barrier, but I suspect that even if I did speak the same language as the fans, I would still not have the slightest clue as to what they are constantly yelling.

4.  I cannot pronounce any of the players' names.  I cannot even tell you the names of the letters used to spell the players' names (Ş?  Ü?).

5.  I need a movie screen sized television just to see what's going on.  The 15 inch TV in my kitchen is fine if I want to stand an inch away from it for 120 minutes, but if I wanted to sit down?  I understand that the field is huge and the ball moves pretty fast, but is there not one decent angle from which this sport can be filmed?