That mass of cardinal-clad students there, in the front of Section O, that’s where you’ll be. Completely sober.

If you’re reading this, you’ve elected to clap for the pregame show from the first 10 rows of Section O and leave your partying until later (see Post B for the party first, game later scenario). It’ll cost you some sleep, but at least there won’t be any sloppy drunks to deal with at the game itself. Here’s your itinerary:

6:50: The alarm goes off (these seats are worth it, scout’s honor).

7:20: Stop by Greenbush (kosher bakery on Regent) en route to Camp Randall; choke down the dozen donuts with the gang outside Gate 4 (food or drink in the lines is a no-no).

8:00: Get in line to exchange the student vouchers for actual tickets. Pass the time by trash talking the day’s woefully inferior competitor with the other bleary-eyed Badgers around you.

9:30: Get an actual ticket and enter the stadium. All the sections fill from bottom-up; first come, first serve. Pass the time by watching the old farts file in, watching clips on the jumbotron, and indulging in a mid-morning brat.

10:40: Drum major’s pregame whistle blows and the band takes the field. Sing along to “On Wisconsin” and “If You Want to Be a Badger.” 

11:00: Kickoff at last! Let’s Go Red!

3:30: Fifth Quarter ends; time to leave the stadium and head out to celebrate another Badger victory!