Once again my faith in humanity has been shaken by recent stupidity in Hammond, Indiana, where evidently birds are more intelligent than people. Two years ago, the Army Corps of Engineers installed several fake coyotes (scarecrows’ forgotten second cousins) to frighten geese and ducks away from wetlands plants.

The geese and ducks were not thwarted though. Rather, the Hammond Port Authority was overwhelmed with calls from concerned citizens who believed the fake coyotes to be trapped dogs.

When rumors began circulating, the trigger-happy folks at PETA smelled the blood and came running to Hammond for an investigation. Disappointed by the lack of people donning fur coats on which they could throw paint, they left downtrodden.

The Army Corps spokesman, Jon Dittmar, has explained the fake coyotes' removal from the wetlands by saying, “They don’t seem to be doing any good anymore and it appears they are upsetting some people.” Most likely, the Army Corps will be required to provide counseling for those traumatized by the fake coyotes.