There’s a pill-popping scandal rocking the NFL, but it’s not what you think. New Orleans Saints’ Deuce McAllister and Will Smith (no not the actor, yes I checked) are allegedly among the players caught for violating the league’s steroid policy because of… water pills.
 

Though they sound harmless, these pills are diuretics meant to encourage weight-loss. McAllister, who formerly played for Ole Miss, and Smith, an alum of Ohio State, both tested positive for bumetanide. This little pill decreases the amount of water retained in the body by upping urination.
 

As Chris Mottram of the Sporting News so elegantly put it: “Kids these days, with their pee pills. I remember the good old days when we used to just stick a toothbrush down our throats in order to fit into our skinny jeans.”
 

McAllister and Smith are hardly the only ones throwing back the goodies though. An NFL source says there have been a “rash of positive tests” in league players, with somewhere between six and ten players involved.
 

C'mon guys stop pissing your careers away. (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)