Dear Bearded Gentleman Playing Billiards at Zeno's Bar,

Have you seen the state of Zeno's Bar lately? Of course you have - you were there. It's cramped, it's smokey, it's loud. It's already a pretty unfavorable atmosphere to be enjoying your weekend in when it's that busy, particularly on graduation weekend (thanks but no thanks, alumni - go back home). So, all of this taken into account, along with the fact that it was my first legal outing at said bar, I really didn't need you poking me with your pool cue so you could make your precious shot. Were a significant amount of money on the line, sure, I'll move aside a few inches and think nothing of it. But you were being a douchebag, for no reason. Not even a friendly, "Hey, a little room?" was uttered, which I would have much respected. Do I expect you to know that it's one of my first trips out as a 21er? Of course not. Do I expect you to have to plan around my particularly large frame in the close quarters of the Zeno's underbelly? Hell no, nobody would. But a little courtesy nudge would have been nice. Not a courtesy poke-in-the-eye, you tool - that's for Chumley's.