Sucks to be a freshman. The university announced over the weekend that university trustees have voted to raise tuition by 5.11 percent.

Miami University E-Report

Miami University trustees voted Friday, Sept. 19, to raise room and board fees for 2009-2010 by 5.11 percent, bringing the rate for a double room and typical 21-meal plan to $9,458 from $8,998 this year. Based on cost analysis and discussions with suppliers, Miami anticipates a 9 percent increase in the cost of food for 2009-2010.

Amazingly freshman planning to live in a dorm sophomore year have been handling the news extremely well. It was later learned, however, that this apathy towards rising room and board costs stemmed from a lack of financial obligation by most of the students that this will affect.

It probably isn't shocking to learn that a majority of students owe quite a bit of gratitude towards their hardworking parents that pay tuition. So I have a couple suggestions for those of you that might be taking their generosity for granted.

1. Offer to help out! They work hard and you work hard. So why should their hard work be rewarded by paying your tuition while your hard work is rewarded by a weekend of drunken escapades where you may or may not score?

2. Do something nice for your parents. That something nice can vary between taking them out to dinner or NEVER complain again about virtually anything ever again to them.

If you chose to continue on the path of taking your parents' extreme generosity for granted, well then your parents reserve the right to backhand you with their empty wallet until you are rendered unconscious. They then have the option to embrace the collegiate spirit by shaving your eyebrows and drawing a gigantic, hairy phallus on your face.