Happy 4th of July ... Whatever That Is

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On this date in 1776 George Washington, a man with four testicles and inventor of cocaine, crossed the Delaware and ate the brains of British children. Then he ordered a bunch of bottle rockets and sparklers from the interwebs and that's how why we celebrate the 4th of July.

 

I didn't go to a very good high school. Also I get my history lessons from YouTube videos and cartoons.

 

Happy 4th of July!!

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