Trojan Condoms released their third annual Sexual Health Report Card today, and the Ivy League took two of the top five spots and placed favorably overall.

For the uninitiated, the Sexual Health Report Card ranks 130 colleges and universities based on the quality and availability of sexual health services and resources on campus. And so, in theory, a student at one of the top-tier schools needn’t worry too much about catching a scorching case of gonorrhea from a one-night stand – at least, not as much as one at a bottom-tier university.

Suddenly, the value of these rankings for campus raiders and townies across America has shot up exponentially.

For your viewing pleasure, here is a truncated version of the list:

The Healthiest
01 Stanford University
02 Columbia University
03 Cornell University
04 University of Iowa
05 University of Denver
06 University of Connecticut
07 West Virginia University
08 University of South Carolina-Columbia
09 University of Georgia
10 University of Wyoming
11 University of Oregon
12 Louisiana State University A&M
13 University of Michigan
14 Pennsylvania State University
15 Oregon State University
16 The University of Texas At Austin
17 Brown University
18 Florida Atlantic University-Boca Raton
19 Syracuse University
20 Duke University
21 University of Pennsylvania
22 Indiana University-Bloomington
23 University of Minnesota
24 Mississippi State University
25 Harvard University
26 University of Illinois At Urbana-Champaign
27 University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill
28 Ohio State University
29 Princeton University
30 North Carolina State University
31 Ball State University
32 Rutgers University
33 Bowling Green State University
34 Tulane University of Louisiana
35 University of Wisconsin-Madison
36 Michigan State University
37 University of Nebraska
38 Western Michigan University
39 University of Arizona
40 University of Southern California
(41 Yale University)

The Least Healthy
100 University of Arkansas At Little Rock
101 Clemson University
102 Boise State University
103 University of Louisiana At Lafayette
104 University of Utah
105 San Diego State University
106 Texas Christian University
107 University of South Alabama
108 University of Mississippi
109 University of Louisiana At Monroe
110 U.S. Air Force Academy
111 University of Hawaii
112 Savannah State University
113 University of Idaho
114 Villanova University
115 Auburn University
116 Troy State University
117 University of California-Los Angeles
118 University of New Orleans
119 Arizona State University
120 Chicago State University
121 New Mexico State University
122 Seton Hall University
123 Texas Tech University
124 Georgetown University
125 Arkansas State University
126 Indiana University-Purdue University
127 Boston College
128 Marshall University
129 University of Cincinnati
130 Marquette University
131 Utah Valley State College
132 Brigham Young University
133 University of Toledo
134 Baylor University
135 Louisiana Tech University
136 University of Notre Dame
137 Providence College
138 St. John’s University-New York
139 DePaul University

Is anyone else shocked that Yale placed so low on the list? Could it be that they’re having so much sex there that those Ivy League rascals can’t be bothered to strap up? Doubtful.

Still, at least Yale isn’t in DePaul’s predicament. One can only imagine what the atmosphere will be like there once the contents of this list become common knowledge. It’s going to be one big whodunit murder mystery – everyone is a suspect.
 

For the full list, head here.