According to Penn State Live, there's been "a minor leak of slightly radioactive water from the pool" at the Penn State Breazeale Nuclear Reactor. OK, two questions. One: we have a nuclear reactor? And two: how many hours until Beerzilla rises from some puddle of Milwaukee's Best around the area?

There are A LOT of things wrong with this story. Let's start with the quote above which says the water is "slightly radioactive," is that like being a little pregnant? If it's radioactive, it's radioactive. When the fish in the area start coming out with three eyes you can't say they only "kinda have three eyes."

And as far as a "minor leak" goes, the article says that "[t]he staff noticed a small reduction of several hundred gallons over the past several days." Several HUNDRED gallons? What the hell would a major leak look like? 

To calm everyone's fear of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle's running rampant on the streets of State College, the article goes on to say the amount of radioactivity release is "less than half the amount of exposure received from a conventional x-ray. Residents of central Pennsylvania routinely receive much larger exposure from natural sources in their environment."

If you say so, but we've watched TV shows and movies for way to long here at OTR. So, we're hoping our superpower is x-ray vision - it'll make this job waaaaay easier.