A few years ago, there was that rumor that Lindsay Lohan was coming to NU. She went to rehab instead. Twice.

This week a former US Weekly intern writes a fictional, tongue-in-cheek account of what would happen if the famous firecrotch were to come torment Sheridan, hordes of paparazzi and mountains of cocaine included.

Only the mean girls of Theta said they would consider the actress to join their sorority. But would Lindsay give a shit about joining a  sorority and sit through the entire rushing ritual? Yeah, not with all the photo shoots, recording sessions, AA meetings and club openings. Would she go to chapter meetings, do the philanthropy, attend the crush parties, live on University?

Haven't you heard? She does what she wants!