So half because I was curious and half because I felt obligated to cover it, I went to Variety last night. I paid an absurd $10 for a ticket (tell me that's going to charity at least) and embedded myself with team Nagano, who I was disappointed to find out was NOT named after the god-like competitor in "Ninja Warrior," and I listened to the Fijis and Tri Delts conference about who cheated during the week and who was going to win tonight.

Filling Hill auditorium with Greeks is insane. Even more insane is telling them that yelling all night will win them some sort of prize. I'm not sure if it was just where I was sitting because of the acoustics, but the "U. S. A." chant from the Pike-led team Atlanta is still ringing in my ears this morning. All the teams seem to be made up of one real frat, one real sorority, one tiny frat and one multicultural frat. Diversity in action!

Sing sucks, let me just throw that out there. Only like four people in the entire thing could actually hit correct notes, and I was particularly surprised by how tone-deaf Kappa was, like ear-shatteringly so. Strange. But Variety is when I actually started to wake up.

After a while all the routines started to blur together, and I saw that "spin the girl around and hang her on your waist" move in at least four routines. Memorable performances I still remember today include surprisingly entertaining showings from AGD and Pi Phi (yeah, go figure), a bunch of Tri Delts doing handsprings and a troupe of Alpha Phi girls being eye-poppingly flexible. And really, it's no surprise who won. The Phi's bendiness took home the crown with some sort of jungle themed routine, and that'll be posted as soon as someone sends it to me. Yeah, Chi Phi was on that team, but they shouldn't disillusion themselves thinking it was them and not the hot girls doing the splits that pulled off the win.

Then at the very, very end (seriously, get rid of Sing, the damn thing is 3.5 hours long) there were the awards for the week and it was a back and forth between Team Torino (Sig Ep, AKA, SDT) and Team Atlanta (Pike, Shady, DG). And of course Pike won, come on. Noticeably absent from the night were Sigma Kappa, Theta Chi and SAE, whose members are surely going to start posting comments here saying how no one gives  a shit about Greek Week. Well team Atlanta certainly did as I've already seen a load of comments and status updates flaunting their victory, and I'm sure they'll be celebrating it for the next year or so.

So uhh congrats Pike, you have empirically proven that you are the best frat on campus, as if there was ever any question, and you brought Shady and DG along with you on your coattails. I might just have to rewrite the list now!

Also: Hottest Girl on Campus Contest is a go, and will start on Monday. Keep nominating!