Researchers were hard at work this weekend studying a huge, mysterious increase in college bunk bed injuries. Apparently these guys have not heard of YouTube.

Science says... don't jump off the top bunk you dumbass! A nationwide study of American "bunk bed-related injuries" found an "unexpected spike" in emergency room visits for the 18-21 set.

"Researchers don't know why, but they suspect it's normal, rowdy dorm behaviour." (I'm gonna go out on a limb here and presume that the Canadian journalist who wrote this piece was just too polite to add that "rowdy dorm behaviour" often means "drunken dorm behaviour.")

It might be normal, but it's pretty dangerous: college kids are hurting themselves twice as often as younger teens. And just last week, a Miami University student died from injuries sustained falling from his lofted bed three weeks prior.

Personally, I don't know why this is coming as such a shock to everyone. Speaking as someone who once fell out of their top bunk as a freshman (omg you guys that weed was nearly life-changing... or maybe it was the resulting concussion) I've been pretty clear on the very real dangers of sleeping on a three-foot ledge nearly a story off the hard ground for, like, years.

And unfortunately, if your student housing is as impacted as much of the rest of the nation's, you've probably slept on one, too (and suffered more than one intoxicated evening trying to make it up that damn ladder). And there will probably just be more and more of these injuries with the way college admissions are going; more and more kids crammed into smaller rooms means more lofted beds to make space.

And, of course, more underage drinking to numb the pain of such close quarters.