JP Morgan knows it has most Ivy League students by the balls. That is to say, a huge number of Princetonites are econ majors lusting after that I-banking job at JP Morgan, Merrill Lynch, or the like. In order to give you a taste of your future, they've handed out a typical "day in the life" schedule of your day as an employee, just to whet your appetite.

A few spoilers: your life will involve women wearing pearls, regular coronaries, not much sleep, and questioning why you ever took the job in the first place.

"1:30 PM: Lunch. Eat at desk...gotta stay in the action. Phone ringing in one hand, KFC in the other. Thank god for baby wipes."