Many of you probably received an e-mail yesterday from President Mary Sue Coleman inviting you to join her at an open house on Thursday between 3:30 and 5:00. The hour and a half should provide plenty of time for the seven students planning to attend to fully regret their decision. Frankly I’d be more interested in meeting that guy who used to throw out the free hot dogs at football games.

Here’s a peak at the email for those who didn’t get it:

Dear Students:

Please join me for an open house at the President's House on Thursday, September 4, from 3:30-5:00 p.m. My home is located at 815 South University Avenue, across the street from the Law Quad.

I look forward to meeting you and hearing about your activities at the University.

Sincerely,

Mary Sue Coleman
President

Her tone is just so warm and welcoming; it makes me tingly all over. I can’t help but hear Ben Stein’s voice when I read it over. For any of you who for some reason thought this is something you want to attend (freshmen), please think again. You’re in college now and there’s no room or benefit to sucking up to the higher authorities. The GSIs (Graduate Student Instructors for those still trying to catch up) however are a great source for kissing ass because if they like you, you’ll have a better grade. Fact.