Red Bull and video games are Princeton’s latest and greatest addiction, announces an optimistic Time magazine. As if decades’ worth of white, powdery goodness could be replaced so suddenly.

Time presents junior Jon Essenburg as exhibit A. The founder of a gamers’ guild site, he had to “set an example” by playing 6-8 hours online each day. An addiction to the energy drink, Bawk, was his inevitable fate. But at 41 Princeton Facebook friends, Essenburg isn’t the typical Tiger.

Exhibit B is Disiac dancer, Michael Wood ’08, who relies on Red Bull to get through finals. Time conveniently ignores Wood’s membership at Ivy Club, where a more potent white substance is king.