On September 17th, all UC campuses will celebrate Constitution Day, wherein the administration encourages us to remember and reflect upon the signing of the U.S. Constitution and its historical resonance.

No commemorative event has yet existed that UCSB students haven't been able to turn into an excuse for some patriotic drinkery. Forget about how much our country's constitution has been undermined during this presidential administration and follow these simple guidelines for your own SB Tea Party:

• Costumes: Powdered wigs and wooden teeth.
• Drink: Sam Adams' Cream Stout... and tons of liquor.
• Pick-Up Line: "Are you British? Because when you see my Yankee Doodle you'll be coming."

That's a start... feel free to make your own Amendments, and Happy Constitution Day!