Com’on, you all know what I am talking about when I say the LIRR is terrible. I know what you were thinking when you chose to go to SUNY @ Stony Brook: “Yes! Cheap school, good education, close to home, and 30 minutes from the City. Life couldn’t get any better.” Actually, you were right, your cloud nine stops right about there.

#1 Prepare to be left behind if you arrive on time. I suppose it is not a bad thing that the LIRR prides itself on arriving on time; however did it occur to them that people need time to walk up to the train doors before they slam shut on you and speed away with half your body hanging out of the car? If your train is to arrive at 12:30PM, it will be gone by 12:30PM.

#2 Large gaps in schedule. If you miss your 12:30PM train, expect to be stranded at whatever station you are at until 1:35PM or later. Why the hell do they need hour gaps for trains?!! Uhh, hello! It’s as if they are purposely trying to deny people of the seats they paid for and trying to make your commute miserable.

#3 People who ride the LIRR SUCK!

The people who ride the train might as well work for the damn railroad themselves OR the devil. Ha, I know that’s harsh…BUT it’s the reality of the situation. I swear they herd all the asswipes of the LI/NYC area and board them on that train to purposely make a point. And that point would be save your effing $15 and invest in a scooter. You’d be better off.

#4 Extremely Overpriced

I b**ch about the $4 I gotta pay round-trip just to ride the MTA buses and subways, but nothing compares to this. Why the hell does MTA charge people between $9.75 and $15 for a one-way ticket into Long Island? Please. Trying to compensate for your overgrown SUVs (that you can’t handle) and orange sun tan lotion. That’s highway robbery!

#5 Horrendous interior design

Okay, so I have already disclosed that getting a seat is like winning the lottery, but what is this I have been hearing about the seats actually tearing people’s clothes apart?! What kind of ghetto nonsense is that?! So they charge people nearly $10 a ticket to make them stand with abusive passengers, and if they are lucky enough to get a seat the chairs eat their clothes. That’s just sad.