• A dying man got his final wish granted when he “married” his sweetheart a day before he died of leukemia. He was eight years old.

• In an attempt to demonstrate the concept of unity using a dirt bike during a church service, a pastor in Indiana broke his wrist when he lost control of the motorcycle. He underwent surgery yesterday.

• A bank robber has been caught thanks to…himself. He managed to rob two banks by handing the tellers a note written on the back of his own personal checks.

• Lingering World Youth Day pilgrims have been offered half-priced tickets to a sex exposition. The purpose is to teach them to be more relaxed about their sexuality while getting them to procreate before they all perish.

• Police dog handlers have been asked to be more considerate of criminals who might be scared of or allergic to canines. They are now the laughing stock of the police world.