College OTR

Ben Stiller and Will Ferrell Have Sex in 'The H is O'

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 02:28:18 EDT

A new video on Funny or Die puts Ben Stiller in bed with Will Ferrell. You decide if it's funny or creepy.

New York City Has It All!

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 02:26:46 EDT

Minus one: LeBron James.

For a city that claims (and rightfully so) to be one of the greatest cities in the country, New Yorkers sure seem to be acting like the spoiled, rich girl that complains to God that nothing goes their way. In the spirit of the topic at hand, we'll stick to the sports realm. New York has two first place teams in the NFL, a baseball team sporting the most championships, the Mets (not going to debate whether that's a good thing or not), and two hockey teams (at least they still care about the NHL). So what's the problem? Answer: The New York Knickerbockers.

First of all, the Knicks have two championships under their, the first one in 1970, ironically the year the Cavs entered the league. How many do the Cavs have since 1970? Zero. Let's go a step further. How many championships does the city of Cleveland have in a major professional sport since 1970? If your mind is going blank, that's because the answer is yet again ZERO. Cleveland's last championship was the Browns in 1964. The city of New York has had 19 championships since 1964 (two of which were the Knicks) in the NFL, NBA, MLB and NHL combined. Let me say it again, Cleveland has had ZERO between 1965-2008. Yet the city of New York is pandering to LeBron like a bad politician to steal him away from a tortured major sports city with arguably the best fans around.

The argument always seems to turn to where Lebron could leave a better legacy. Well everyone is going to have their own opinion, but which headline sounds better?

LEBRON JAMES BRINGS YET ANOTHER CHAMPIONSHIP TO NEW YORK. CITY PAUSES TO CELEBRATE BEFORE RETURNING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE YANKEES FOR NOT WINNING A CHAMPIONSHIP EVERY YEAR.

Or...

LBERON JAMES BRINGS CHAMPIONSHIP TO CLEVELAND, SAVING AMERICA'S MOST DEPRESSED SPORTS CITY FROM COMMITTING SUICIDE WITH AN INTERESTING MIXTURE OF BASEBALL BATS, FOOTBALLS, BASKETBALLS AND PILLS.

Why else should LeBron James stay in Cleveland besides a blogger with an obvious Cleveland bias is praying to God, Jesus, Buddha and anyone else that's listening for him to stay? Because Sir Charles said so!

College Over for One Quinnipiac Student

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 01:38:47 EDT

Well, not quite. There are still final exams to conquer.

Today is my last day of classes at Quinnipiac ever. It is a very emotional and bittersweet time for me. I should be excited, but I am actually really sad.

To find out why, please read my opinion editorial in The Quad News here.

Columbia Students Facebook-Stalk Professors, Hilarity Ensues

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 01:13:59 EDT

All hail the Columbia BWOG for pioneering a revolutionary, “new” form of Facebook-stalking, targeting unsuspecting professors, rather than fellow students.

The premise for BWOG’s innovative timewaster, born solely from the incessant need to procrastinate on studying for finals, is simple: comb Facebook in search of fun factoids about the men and women who will be deciding your academic fate in a mere couple of weeks.

The results, as one might expect, were wholly hilarious.

The BWOG offers some choice selections:

French Lecturer Vincent Aurora has activities such as "Gesticulating bombastically over a few too many drinks" and status messages like "Vincent has survived 13 consecutive days alone with his children--an unparalleled feat--with no fatalities."

Logician Achille Varzi, because his profile picture is inexplicably upside-down and he is in a group called 'metaphysicists' not 'metaphysicians'.

Computer Scientist Paul Blaer's profile has pictures of him holding a machine gun, and he even has his own (well-deserved) fan club group.

Eventually, the professors took notice of the hijinxs and began sounding the alarm to one another:

Priceless.

Feel free to join in on the fun and leave your findings in the comment box below.

[Kudos to the BWOG]

The Princeton Sexpert Explains the Necessity For Non-Lubricated Love Socks

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 12:22:55 EDT

As sexually experienced [READ: promiscuous] student undoubtedly know, condoms come in all different shapes and sizes.

From Magnums to ribbed, the condom, or love sock, aisle at your local Rite Aid or Duane Reade is generally a Technicolor rainbow of assorted colors.

For at least one Princeton student, however, one set of condom boxes always stood out: the ones marked “Non-lubricated.”

If the necessity for lube-less condoms always escaped you too, the Daily Princetonian’s ~~Smugpert~~ Sexpert is here to shed some light on the matter:

1. Allergies: Just as some people are allergic to latex — thus creating a market for non-latex condoms — people can also be allergic to the lubricant in condoms…

2. Oral sex: … It is highly preferable for a man to use a non-lubricated condom when his partner is performing oral sex on him, as lubricated condoms can leave an unpleasant taste in the partner’s mouth and, in some cases, cause the partner’s mouth to go numb due to a reaction to the chemicals in the lubricant.

3. Lack of need: Some women are able to produce enough self-lubrication that lubricated condoms are unnecessary for comfortable sexual intercourse…

4. Desire to use other forms of lubrication: This is a newer addition, but with the recent creation of lubricants that do things other than just lubricate the genitalia, non-lubricated condoms have become increasingly popular…

5. Pleasure: While all of the above categories could fit under this heading, I thought that it was important to explicitly state that, for whatever reason, some couples find it more pleasurable to use non-lubricated condoms.

So poignant and so straight to the point that one can’t help but wonder if these well-structured, well-defined bullet points are nothing more than—gasp—common sense.

Then again, as smug as Princetonians are, they are still merely Ivy Leaguers at the end of the day. And so, sex may not be a subject they completely grasp.

Penn's Last Day of Classes: Now We Can Go to the Zoo

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 09:35:59 EDT

As hard as it is to believe, today is officially the end of first semester, seeing as it’s the last day of classes. Sure, now we have Reading Days ahead of us, a week in which we will be faced with hours of textbook reading and essay writing in preparation for finals – but for all intents and purposes, we are done. Ish.

Despite the studying that lies ahead, we will still have tons of time to do all sorts of cool stuff that we could never do when we had to go to classes (hypothetically, of course). So next Wednesday, when you realize that that you really need a break from your 12-hour stint at Van Pelt, why not try out some of this Fun Random Stuff That You Now Have Time To Do.

1.) Go to the Philadelphia Zoo
This one goes out to AbstractNoun, who has been begging me to accompany her to the zoo for about a year and counting now. It’s really close to campus, and word on the street is that it’s pretty awesome (fun fact: it’s America’s first zoo). What better way to take a break from practice problems then to watch cute baby monkeys climb fake trees?

2.) Take a Duck Tour
Yes, Philadelphia blatantly stole the whole Duck Tour thing from Boston. But, really, can a city stake a claim over an awkward and hokey form of touring in a bus that turns into a boat? I think not.

3.) Check Out a Hookah Bar
Not as wholesome as the first two ideas, but it’s a nice way to blow off some steam (that was actually pun unintended, believe it or not). There are some cool ones in downtown Philly, like Byblos, so grab a group of friends with substantial lung capacities and hookah away.

4.) Take a Really Long Nap
Because, let’s be honest, all we ever really want to do is sleep.

Reel Sexy #2 : Role Models

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 08:28:47 EDT

I am pretty much broke heading into the holiday season…as I imagine any normal student is…so I haven’t really been able to afford to see many movies lately. (Mom, Dad…gift cards please) SO…due to this, I have been forced to look back in time and review a film that I saw several weeks ago, around the same time that I saw Quantum of Solace.

The film…Role Models. The newest addition to the “Frat Pack” empire. This movie not only struck my humor side, but tapped my sexual innards quite effectively also. Starring Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott and two somewhat newcomers to the big screen, Christopher Mintz-Plasse (of McLovin’ fame) and Bobb'e J. Thompson who has recently played a role in “30 Rock”; and Directed by David Wain, known for his cult classic “Wet Hot American Summer”, and web series “Wainy Days”. This core cast and interesting characters, unique director, and a storyline that hasn’t really been done before, really gave this film a certain “I don’t know what”.

As the characters develop, we see Augie (Mintz-Plasse), evolve from a solitary nerd, to a role-playing, KISS Kostumed, Princess Loving Hero, while Ronnie (Thompson) develops from a foul mouth little bastard, into a foul mouth little bastard…with a hot mom. I’d get foul ALL over that.

At the same time, we see our two “role models” (get it?) develop: Danny (Rudd) goes from hating life, hating his best friend, and losing his girlfriend to singing in public, rekindling his friendship, and wooing his woman back (cliché), while Wheeler (Scott) goes from whacky, lady lovin’, no holds barred good times kinda guy, to …basically the same thing…plus he got to ALMOST hook up with a sexy volunteer in the woods…hoo ha! **NOTE : This is where the sexy comes in**.

The Sexy. Ok…so yea, great story line, fun times, laughed a lot…but while in the theatre, I also had points in the movie where if there had been a fire drill…I would have sat and burned rather than show the crowd the half staff sitting between my legs. Call me crude, but seeing nip in the bush…it just does it for me, and if you see the movie…you get a taste…as does Ronnie…lucky little brat.

So all in all, this movie was FANTASTIC. I felt it was well worth the $10.50 I earned by selling my blood on the black market, and I think you would too. In general, I think I would meet this movie at a bar. Get a few drinks in her so she finds me FAR more attractive than I am, be a little overly aggressive, maybe a bit of a douche, then take her back to my place. By my place I mean the back of my mobile mammography van. Since I know she’s big into roll playing and KISS, first I’d do a little playing about. Me as the male porn star, her as the female, reenacting my favorite scene from Who’s The Boss (the X rated version). Then comes the good ole Danza Slap. From there, if she is still conscious, I’ll treat her to the Gene Simmons, and finish off the night with a touch of a Knight Cap…to reiterate my douchiness.

Danza Slap : 1. The signature move of Mr. Tony Danza during his days as a adult film star. 2. The act of role playing, the male playing Tony Danza, and the female playing…well…some chick. As she is on her knees finishing the deed, look her in the eye and say “Who’s the boss”. The female, obviously being true to you will most assuredly say “You are”. At which time you forcefully slap your unit across her face shouting “NO BITCH, Tony Danza!”

Gene Simmons: 1. Lead singer of the band KISS who has an extremely long tongue, and previously a school teacher. 2. The use of one’s tongue for EXTREMELY deep oral pleasure…to the max.

Knight Cap : 1. NIGHT Cap refers to a drink one would imbibe prior to taking to their sleeping quarters, or a drink given to a lady with a rufie in it to prevent her from leaving for the night. 2. Almost like the Danza Slap, but for the night’s finale, in an attempt to leave a mushroom stamp shape on the individual (male or female)’s face…as a Royal Crest of their Knighthood.

I Give this move 5 fingers and a DP

OTR's Finals Week Survival Guide

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 12:33:34 EDT

When people talk about exams, they always give you the same schpiel about not cramming and developing good study habits. Here’s the thing, no real student has good study habits. So if you just realized that your finals are a few days away, here’s how to get by with terrible study habits.

Don’t do the reading. If you only have a few precious hours the last thing you want to do is drudge through some boring textbook. You’re kidding yourself if you think it’s going to prepare you in any way. 95% of the test is probably going to come from the Powerpoints no matter what they say. Besides, if you know your notes well enough, you might be able to correctly guess anything that’s from the book.
Don’t complain. Listen, pain in the ass, we all have exams. Talking about how busy you are is only wasting your time, and unfortunately, everyone else’s as well. Think about all the studying you can get done while you think of the perfect Facebook status to sum up your stress.
Don’t go to the library. In theory, the library is the place to be in order to focus but in actuality, that’s where you’ll find the most distractions. There are moving stacks and people moving outside the window and worst of all, other people studying. You’d never think that someone else reading a book is interesting until you realize you’ve been staring at them for 2 hours.
Energize. Chances are, your sleeping is going to be greatly restricted. Sure, you could just get a proper night’s sleep but who has time for that? In extreme cases, coffee might not cut it. Try Red Bull or over the counter stimulants.
Relax. Optimal studying conditions require that you not only be wired, but also relaxed enough to focus. So when you’ve gotten so tweaked out on energy drinks that all you can think about is how fast your heart is beating, go masturbate. Seriously, masturbation is the key to relaxation. If you can't get at least half your studying done after that, then I'm sorry, there isn't much we can do for you.
6. If all else fails, take a little nap and study later.

These tips are a guaranteed route to success. You can bet my 3.8 GPA on it. Goodnight and Good luck.

The Finals Are Coming! The Finals Are Coming!

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 11:48:27 EDT

Sketchy Adderall dealings behind the card catalogue, bloodshot eyes and anxiety-ridden coffee shakes – if you guessed a scene from Requiem for a Dream, you would be terribly mistaken. This in fact is the sickening stench of Finals quickly approaching and plaguing Quinnipiac students. So as students fight off the homicidal tendencies this week, here’s a list of things to look forward to after the finals are finally finished.

Friday Night at Aunchi’s – The reason the 21+ crowd is trucking through this week is to savor the sweet albeit watered-down taste of Icehouse on their parched lips. This upcoming Friday will be the last of semester before we bid Quinnipiac adieu for painfully long five weeks.

The End of Morgue Hours – A highly anticipated time when students are allowed to speak above a whisper and peace is finally restored just in time for everyone to move out.

Home Sweet Home – You know it is time to go home your roommate’s snoring is getting louder, her chewing suddenly resembles that of a farm animal and her awful significant other’s toothbrush has finally landed a spot in your bathroom.

So buckle up for the horror of finals and look at the big picture - holiday gifts are only weeks away now. Oh wait, we're in a recession - nevermind.

The Top 10 Most Famous People from Madison Wisconsin

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 09:40:51 EDT

We have brainiacs, athletes, fashion forward ladies and some drama kids. Though we can brag about our school ranking and the fact that our sports teams are pretty damn good, we definitely deserve bragging rights for many famous people that have come from our state as well as our school.

1. Pleasant Rowland: You may have heard of a little brand called American Girl that has swept the nation and most likely your mall. The creator of this brand who has reached the charts of Forbes 400 list of the wealthiest people in the country graduated from our school and continues to give back to the place she loves.

2. Chris Noth: For all you Sex & the City addicts out there, you might appreciate that the pompous ass that is Big is actually from little ole’ Madison. Apparently they don’t only raise cows in Wisconsin.

3 Mike Richter: The first New York Ranger to record 300 wins, this hockey player has given Wisconsin something to brag about.

4. Phil Hellmuth: Thank g-d this guy never decided to fold. This famous poker player who has taken home more championship poker tournament wins then I have time to watch on rerun T.V. was born in Madison and attended the university.

5. Joan Cusack: With famous films such as School of Rock and Sixteen Candles, this New York native who attended the university has surely made all the drama kids proud as well as optimistic.

6. Meinhardt Raabe: Dorothy, we aren’t in Kansas anymore. We are in Wisconsin, which is apparently where the only surviving munchkin of The Wizard of Oz movie graduated from and is currently living in Madison.

7. Alando Tucker: Though the Phoenix Suns may have stolen our #42 player off the court, Tucker played four good years of college basketball on our very own turf.

8. Butch Vig: The drummer for a small time band turned big called Garbage grew up in Madison. Guess someone decided to take out the garbage and get a recording deal.

9. Chris Farley: One of the funniest men who ever walked this earth clearly had to keep himself occupied with jokes and humor in order to survive his boring upbringing in cow town. He may have played a moron in Tommy Boy, but the boy clearly had some brains, attending and graduating from the university.

10. Chris Chambers: This San Diego Chargers football player definitely gave fans something to cheer about when he played for Wisconsin. Not to mention that he played backup guard on the basketball team freshman year.
2 teams at once? Yeah, I would be bragging too.

10 more reasons to be proud of your school colors

Oh c’mon, you know you can’t wait to brag to your friends that the American Girl creator may have sat in your science class seat..

The Most Dangerous Game

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 08:09:57 EDT

Members of the Delta Theta Sigma fraternity prepare to go hunting during deer season in Pennsylvania, which kicked off this past Monday. The men pictured here say that hunting is a way of life. Odds are they voted for McCain.

Clef Hangers Old Well Sing

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 07:14:12 EDT

Note that the audience is approximately 98 percent female.

Tina's Back!

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 05:39:10 EDT

Binghamton dining hall employee who was fired by Sodexo, after a "sexual harassment" scandal was spotted, working in CIW dining hall.

No Shave November at Boston University

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 05:27:36 EDT

It's now December 3rd and I'm embarrased to admit that I never posted about the great November tradition that is "No Shave November."

What is "No Shave November" you may ask? Well, if you do ask, you've got some issues to deal with, but that's for you to worry about. "NSN" is a tradition usually taking places at colleges across the nation where the participants do not shave for the entire month of November.

There are some who follow the tradition of "Beardvember," which allows for minor trimming so long as the beard is preserved. Though I'm not proud to say it, I partook in "Beardvember" rather than "NSN" this year because my neck bead got out of control. For those of you who don't sport the wolfman-esque neck beard, consider yourself lucky. It is the bane of my existence.

What do you gain from this tradition? Facial hair, obviously, but it's not so much as what you have to gain, but rather, what lays on the line; your manhood (or for those girls taking part, your womanhood--NSN does not discriminate). The month is a month of celebrating manlihood and everything that goes along with it--mostly facial hair though.

It is not mandatory, but some additional features of NSN are:

-Beer, Whiskey or Bourbon, because everything else falls short of supreme manliness.

-No tight pants, because though hipsters have taken to the ironic 'stache, tight pants bust your nuts up like a wooden soldier, which as you could guess, is far from manly.

-Every meal must consist mostly of steak, because you guessed it; manly.

Girls Get Golden at Boston University

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 05:13:27 EDT

Girls and a some guy lurking dress up King Midas style for a gold party.

A Jaw-Dropping Play From Our Very Own Scott Morton.

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 02:57:06 EDT

Senior Scott Morton had a spectacular play last night against SUNY Oswego, as he beat the buzzer with a diving, behind the head shot. Check out his interview with ESPN. Congrats Scott.

Yale Intentionally Hiding The Number of Sexual Assaults on Campus?

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 02:23:26 EDT

According to Yale University’s Report on Campus Security, there were only eight instances of alleged forcible sex crimes in 2007.

However, the Sexual Harassment Assault Resources & Education Center claims there were, in fact, 24 reported incidents, four times the official number released by the University.

So, who’s lying here: the Yale administration or the department tasked with handling said violations?

Apparently, neither of them – if you believe the official response from University officials.

The Yale Daily News reports:

In response to allegations that Yale was underreporting sexual offenses, the U.S. Department of Education began investigating the University for its compliance with federal reporting requirements in 2004. Since then, the University has reviewed and reformed its protocols for handling reports of sexual crimes.

Yale administrators said the figures in its campus security report are lower because federal law requires universities to report only certain kinds of offenses. Plus, the administrators added, no one knows exactly how many sexual crimes take place at Yale — or, for that matter, at other universities.

Please note that, while administrators argue they’re only required to release the pertinent statistics for “certain kinds of offenses,” they make no attempts at explaining what those are.

Moreover, if the department designed to handle reported sex crimes cannot be trusted, why does it exist?

As with everything, the proof is always in the pudding, and this pudding reeks of moldy milk nestled underneath chocolate-y goodness.

UC Berkeley Girl Drinks Sparks, Shows Tongue

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 02:01:15 EDT

This girl knows what's up: classy college girls drink Sparks.

Wesleyan Campus Says Goodbye To Fall

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 01:43:57 EDT

As winter break approaches, Wesleyan's campus prepares for the new season. All of the leaves near the WestCo dorm have fallen and students no longer lounge on their balconies. I guess we'll all have to wait to sled on Foss Hill!

It's Good to be a Miami Grad

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 12:16:35 EDT

Mel Brooks famously stated in his comedy HISTORY OF THE WORLD PART I that "it's good to be the king," while playing the infamous King Louis XVI. Well, it turns out it's also good to be a Miami University graduate in our stumbling job market. Let's just hope there's a better ending for Miami grads than the way King Louis XVI went out.

Miami University News Reports:

Miami surveyed 220 employers that participated in a September career fair on campus, and found 29 percent of employers surveyed plan to increase hiring, while only 12 percent expect a decrease.

University big wigs attribute the good news to the high regard employers hold Miami University graduates. If there's any truth to this thought, then I would like prospective employers to continue reading below.

I WILL BE A MIAMI UNIVERSITY GRADUATE IN DECEMBER! PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY, GIVE ME A JOB!!!

Oh, and feel free to contact me for references.

FSU's Myron Rolle Makes Smart Moves On and Off the Field

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 12:14:20 EDT

Florida State gets a lot of flak for not being as "academic" as our rivals in Gainesville, but to our defense we do have our fair share of intellectuals.

Not only is Myron Rolle a star on Bobby Bowden Field as a player on the Seminoles football team, but he's also a certified smarty pants.

Rolle is the newest pride of FSU as the recipient of a coveted Rhodes Scholarship. He is the first Florida State football player to receive the award. While most of us are trying to figure out where were going to Grad School or get a job, Myron is faced with the decision of deciding between NFL Scouting and studying in Oxford, England.

A mere 32 college students are chosen each year to receive the scholarship which allows them to study at Oxford University. FSU also had a Rhodes Scholar last year (former school president, Joe O'Shea). I might also had that University of Florida didn't have ANY recipients.

Rolle, who plays Safety, has ambitious career goals; "I want to be a neurosurgeon," Rolle said. "And I want to help impoverished nations build up their vaccination programs. I think in many poor countries, vaccination programs and mental health programs are wrongly pushed aside."

Congrats Myron and thanks for confirming that Florida State students can be just as intelligent and fun as the Gators.

Party Geneseo Style

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 12:03:22 EDT

Welcome to Geneseo: 7 to 3 girl to guy ratio.

A Serial Killer Responsible for Northwestern Student's Dead?

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 11:49:19 EDT

By now, we are all aware of the tragic fate of the NU freshman that went missing a few weeks ago, but recently there's been some speculation that this was more than just an accidental drowning...

According to some sources, a spray painted smiley face was found on the rocks by the lake near where the student's belonging were found. Two detectives believe that this smiley face is the symbol left behind by a serial killer or a gang that prey on young male college students in the Midwest.

So far the deaths of about 40 male college students have been ruled as "accidental drownings" by the cops but in 12 of those cases, a smiley face symbol has been discovered near the scene. The FBI has found no evidence to back up the serial killer theory...,

But what do you think? A mysterious disappearance and a body found in the lake... the work of a serial killer?

Enough with the Weis-Rodriguez Comparisons

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 11:33:06 EDT

The Charlie Weis to Rich Rodriguez comparisons must stop right now. I’ll start off by saying yes, they do have certain things in common. They are both head coaches at extremely prestigious football universities. They both came into their coaching jobs highly confident and even slightly arrogant. They both get paid a sh*tload of money per win (this past year anyway). However, there are a few critical elements that need to be looked at, other than the fact Weis could eat Rita Rodriguez as an appetizer.

Charlie Weis had never coached in college football before coming to Notre Dame. He had a successful start with Brady Quinn and got a TEN year contract midway through the first season, when they were 5-2. Notre Dame went 19-6 in his first two seasons, when the team was being led by Ty Willingham’s players. Despite having great recruiting classes and the number one quarterback in his class, Jimmy Clausen, the Irish have compiled an all-time franchise worst 15 losses over the last two years, failing to beat any team in the top 25. Charlie Weis has achieved absolutely nothing in college football.

Rich Rodriguez, on the other hand, has been coaching college football for 16 years. He won 4 straight conference titles after 3 seasons at Glenville State and won 3 straight conference titles at West Virginia after 2 seasons (and won a Sugar Bowl). His one season at Michigan was characterized by adjustment, transfers, injuries, and an offense with little to no game experience. He hasn’t even had a full recruiting class of his own come to Ann Arbor. Charlie Weis deserved to be fired (though he is getting one more year) because he won with another man’s talent and failed, miserably, with his own. Give Rich Rodriguez a recruiting class or two of his own before you even think about making a comparison.

A coach is expected to struggle when he’s coaching another man’s team and to succeed with his own. Rodriguez has a proven track record of bringing schools to the top of their conference and keeping them there. To all the whiners (yes, JQ is included), please shut up and realize that this was a necessary evil. Would you rather go to 4-5 straight Outback/Capital One bowls and embrace mediocrity or would you rather miss one bowl game and be in the running for BCS games for the next several years? We went to Rodriguez to become a national title contender and this is part of the process. Suck it up. Go Blue!

New Minnesota Law Requires Fire-Safe Cigarettes

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 11:03:42 EDT

In accordance with the new law that went into affect December 1, all cigarettes in Minnesota must be "fire-safe". This means unattended cigarettes will extinguish on their own through the magic of technology.

According to KSTP, 25 percent of all fire deaths are caused by cigarettes left unattended, and nationwide cigarette fires cause about 700 to 900 deaths a year. So, this seems like a legit concern, I suppose.

Still, many Minnesota smokers have taken to driving to Wisconsin to get their precious real cigarettes. It sure is inconvenient for a cigarette to go out if you don't puff on it enough, so the logical solution is to drive hundreds of miles across state borders to avoid that inconvenience. I guess if you're already making the trek for fireworks and beer on Sundays, picking up a pack of hazardous smokes couldn't hurt.

Except, you know, your house might burn down. Well, this just goes to show there's truly no group more stubborn than smokers.

Penn's Reaction to the Mumbai Terrorist Attacks

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 10:35:25 EDT

Last weekâ€™s terrorist attacks in Mumbai, India were, of course, terribly upsetting and tragic. A group of terrorists stormed two hotels (the Taj Mahal and the Oberoi Trident), a busy train station, and a cafÃ©. They also held up a Jewish Chabad Center in the city, murdering over one hundred innocent people. Though the attacks occurred quite far from our campus, Penn students have reacted to the tragedy in any way theyâ€™ve seen fit. When it comes to such terrible happenings, it can be difficult to emotionally mobilize large groups of people, especially when levels of personal ties to the incident vary greatly. While there are some Penn students and professors who, tragically, knew people killed, others are simply affected by the utterly terrible senselessness of the murders. Thereâ€™s always a question of appropriateness when it comes to public grief â€“ how should members of a group react? According to the Daily Pennsylvanian, a commemorative candlelight vigil was held on College Green this past Monday. Additionally, the Wharton India Studentâ€™s Association will hold a panel later in the week to discuss a more practical, perhaps educational outlook on the tragedy. For all those interested, there will be a memorial service at Pennâ€™s Chabad-Lubavitch House at 4037 Pine Street tonight at 8:00 p.m. A nondenominational, interfaith service will also occur this evening at 5:00 p.m. in the Terrace Room at Claudia Cohen Hall.

College Cost Increase

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 10:32:30 EDT

While the price tag for Williams College and its peer institutions is well out of the reach of most families in the United States an article from the New York Times discusses how the cost of colleges across the country (most likely including schools like Williams) will rise to an exorbitant amount.

Start saving for your unborn children's education now!

Purdue Loses a Tough Loss to Duke

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 09:43:57 EDT

Its quite a sad day in West Lafayette after the men's basketball team lost to Duke in a 60-76 score.In what was supposed to be a good game, with tickets selling in the hundreds of dollars, the Boilers maybe had a few Duke-jitters. As loud and pumped that Mackey Arena and The Paint Crew were before the game, many wonder what went wrong. Well, I'll tell you:

1. Purdue had silly turnovers early

2. Purdue wasn't making the 'gimme' shots

3. Everything Duke threw up went in... Sometimes with nothing but net, and sometimes rolling around the rim for minutes.

While many feel like the refs made selective calls, we still can't blame anyone but ourselves for the stupid mistakes made that ultimately cost us the game, although I question Matt Painter's coaching. Usually one of the most active coaches, he was noticeably quiet, still, and calm, in what made fans wonder what he was thinking.

The next game for the men is Saturday, 8pm vs. Arkansas- Pine Bluff. Hopefully we can make a comeback and get a win after two straight losses.

Teacher Sells Ad Space On Math Tests...Wins Nobel Prize

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 09:36:49 EDT

Recently we have all seen a huge crunch in the economy. Apparently we are “Officially” in a recession, which has caused stocks to yet again plummet for the bajillionth time this month. Due to the economic crisis, states have been forced to make dramatic cut backs financially; affecting all levels of state run programming, and most importantly, education. In California however, a calculus teacher from Rancho Bernardo High School named Tom Farber has taken matters into his own hands.

Farber, 47, has decided to make up the extra money he needs to print his materials for the year by selling advertising space on his tests and quizzes. That’s right, he is selling ad space on pages of his printouts in order to pay for the cost of copying everything he needs to actually teach his course.

HOW GENIUS IS THAT?!?! I must say, I am impressed with his ingenuity, and very surprised nobody else had taken advantage of this prior. There are some issues, however, with parents and other concerned citizens about having their children exposed to advertising in yet ANOTHER medium, and also are concerned about the “innocence” level of the ads being printed on the math materials.

I say go for it, and in fact, I have made a list of the top 10 advertisements I would imagine seeing on a test, quiz or homework assignment if I were to still be in High School this year.

This Test Brought To You By…

10. The National Man Boy Love Association “No means Yes.”

9. Citizens for Barack Obama “Vote for Change!”

8. National Aeronautics and Space Administration “We’re Still Doing Stuff.”

7. Citizens for John McCain “Vote for Change!”

6. Budweiser “The Reason Daddy Even Talked to Mommy”

5. Tampax “Get Used To It Honey.”

4. Rubinov Vodka “The Reason Mommy Doesn’t Remember Why She Woke Up Next To Daddy”

3. Good Time Charlie’s Gentleman’s Club “If You Ladies Fail…Give Us A Call”

2. Phillip Morris “Smoke.”

1. Trojan Condoms “You’re The One That Got Away.”

Journey : The American Drinking Song

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 08:53:43 EDT

www.youtube.com/watch

What makes a country a country? What defines its college population as the rightful heirs to a society, a civilization, and a world? What can solve arguments, halt wars, and embellish comradry? DRINKING SONGS.

All countries where alcohol isn't illegal have their personal drinking song...and if your country doesn't have one...you don't count. So this issue has come to bother me as of late...what is the American Drinking Song?! In lots of countries the song is actually their national anthem...but golly gee...the Star Spangled Banner really doesn't get my motor running...

So what song does every drinker know verbatim, whether drunk, drowsy, tipsy or totally sober? You know where this is going...the one...the ONLY...Don't Stop Believin'. A song of legendary proportions that not only usually signals our local watering hole (The Pitcher's Mound ...woowoo) is doing last call...but it also is a pick me up...bringing together enemies for some belligerent belting of beautiful beats. It's magical...and here is a unique presentation of what I hereby declare the Drinking Song Of The United States Of America. God Bless...and never stop believin'!

Bing Foam Wrestling

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 12:54:43 EDT

So this is what goes on at mixers...

Beer In The Butt Chicken

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 12:11:56 EDT

Have you heard of this? Apparently it's really good! Perfect College food. So basically you take half a full can of beer with the top cut off. Put it in the butt of a chicken. Add some spices and stuff, and cook it!

Here is a recipe for it from the Food Network,

Ingredients

* 1 (4-pound) whole chicken
* 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
* 2 tablespoons salt
* 1 teaspoon black pepper
* 3 tablespoons of your favorite dry spice rub
* 1 can beer

Directions

Remove neck and giblets from chicken and discard. Rinse chicken inside and out, and pat dry with paper towels. Rub chicken lightly with oil then rub inside and out with salt, pepper and dry rub. Set aside.

Open beer can and take several gulps (make them big gulps so that the can is half full). Place beer can on a solid surface. Grabbing a chicken leg in each hand, plunk the bird cavity over the beer can. Transfer the bird-on-a-can to your grill and place in the center of the grate, balancing the bird on its 2 legs and the can like a tripod.

Cook the chicken over medium-high, indirect heat (i.e. no coals or burners on directly under the bird), with the grill cover on, for approximately 1 1/4 hours or until the internal temperature registers 165 degrees F in the breast area and 180 degrees F in the thigh, or until the thigh juice runs clear when stabbed with a sharp knife. Remove from grill and let rest for 10 minutes before carving.

I wanna try it, You should too.

Gator Stompin' is in Two Days!

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 12:04:40 EDT

Finals are fast approaching and what better way to momentarily forget about them than by participating in the nation’s largest pub crawl. That’s right, kids, Gator Stompin’ is here!

This Thursday, Dec. 4th, is the date so there’s very little time left to get tickets. Tickets are $20 or $25 if you wait until Thursday, and they can be purchased online here. But there are the ways you can save on those.

If you purchase your ticket at Gateway Apartments, you’ll receive the shirt for free and if you bring in a new unwrapped toy to donate to Toys for Tots, you’ll get $10 off your ticket.

You can also buy your ticket at Beer Pit and get a $10 tab. The only caveat is that it must be redeemed at the time of purchase.

Finally, if you get your ticket from Bestway Cab, you’ll get a free cab ride home so you can get as trashed as you want without worrying about transportation.

The Gator Stompin’ ticket will give you entrance and free food or drinks at places like Sharab, Lux, Rum Runners, Rue Bar, Dominos and the Gelato Company. Though the event is 18+, it’s really not worth it unless you can get your money’s worth in alcohol. But if you’re interested in paying $20 to get free soda at every bar then, by all means, go nuts.

Terrapin Tuesday Theme Day: Week Nine

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 11:45:44 EDT

Arthur Fonzarellis and Liza Minellis

"If you don't like this theme, then you can sit on it! Aaaay!"

Description: People may tell you that instead of throwing this party you may as well just jump the shark, but the ultimate cool guy the eye-shadowy entertainer combine to form a classic throw-back themed party.

Arthur Fonzarellis:

Dress Code - Blue jeans, white t-shirt, leather jacket, killer boots, slick hair style.

Bonus Points - comb in pocket or anyone who comes as Barry Zuckerkorn.

Liz Minellis:

Dress Code - Something crazy, black hair helmet hair-do, lots of eye-liner, entended eye lashes.

Bonus Points - anyone who comes as the vertigo-plagued Lucille Austero.

Drinks: cabaret martini and some cold brews.

Location: Al's Drive-In.

Music: "Buddy Holly" by Weezer, fifties sock-hop music and show tunes.

----------

Past Theme Ideas:

Field Hockey Players & Dragon Slayers

Hanson & Manson

Planeteers & Buccaneers

Heaven, Hell & Samuel L.

Peeping Toms & ~~Soccer~~ Hockey Moms

Polka Dots & Jell-O Shots

Indie Scenesters & Missy Misdeanors

Iron Chefs & Football Refs

It's Engagement Time at Baylor

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 11:43:29 EDT

Whether they're getting their "MRS degree" or "Ring by Junior Spring," new fiances and giant rocks on the ring finger are popping up all over campus.

Purdue vs. Duke Equals Quite A Show

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 11:40:33 EDT

President Bush said it best... And unfortunately the Boilers fell short in a 60-76 game.

A St. John's Student's trip to the Sex Museum

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 11:39:57 EDT

Campus life is getting stale thanks to the coming final exams. So I have to find my own fun. So where do I go? The sex museum of course!

Have No Fear - Eagle Scouts Are Here (at MSU)

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 11:35:30 EDT

The Eagle has landed - at Michigan State University?

If you can't beat them, join them.

Really?

Michigan State University aims to do what no other college has done. No, not plant a school flag on the moon. No, it won't plan to send our nuclear waste to the Earth's magma core. No, MSU will not begin its own version of Kitchen Nightmares inspired by its own HRI experiences.

And, no, MSU will NOT christen a new Disney professional school inspired by its degree in popular culture. But, YES, those were all good guesses.

Rather, Michigan State University will proudly start its new Eagle Scout troop.

That's right. For those of you who fondly remembered your days of camping in the woods with your fellow Scout brethren, who still aspire "To Be Thrifty and Kind, Obedient and Cheerful, and Obey the Scout Law..." well, you're in luck. Sure, you may need a refresher course in sharpening those knifes and tying those knots... but probably not in shooting a rifle. Or maybe you do.

Or maybe you don't. If you made it to Eagle Scout, likely is you're pretty good at all that camping and outdoors stuff anyways. And, what are you gonna do with all that you learned in Scouts once you get to college? Drink it away? Let's face it, only so many folks ever make it on Survivor.

So, let's put that knowledge to good use: save the Earth from ourselves, leap tall buildings in a single bound, rescue fair maidens in distress. Let's start a MSU Eagle Scout Troop! We'll call it: Eagle One.

Growing up is soooo overrated... Fellow Boy Scouters, we've finally landed.

Can You Spot The QU Campus Editor?

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 10:25:53 EDT

It's like Where's Waldo only the people are better looking and everything's not red and white!

Condoms

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 10:00:04 EDT

VeRy FuNnY commerical for condoms

from the condoms blog .

Has more as well