These days we aren’t safe from anything. The media is constantly warning us against “threats” that allegedly have some value, but I’m not too sure. This summer’s scare fixation: Cancer. I swear it feels like every time I turn on Good Morning America they have some new cancer causing “discovery” that affects us college students, and Americans in general. Ah well, in honor of these wacky findings, I'm sharing the ones that amuse me the most:

Deodorant:

Researchers claim this daily necessity contains harmful substances linked to breast cancer. The compounds supposedly absorb or enter the skin through nicks from shaving, and increase hormone levels. Imagine what it would be like on a crowded subway where no one was wearing deodorant?  Oh God.

Processed Meat:

Ham, bacon, pastrami, salami and hot dogs are linked to cancer. Hot dogs?! Not America’s favorite pastime! Experts claim, “Eating just one sausage a day can increase the chances of developing bowel cancer by a fifth.”

Granite Countertops:

A mitigation technician found that granite countertops in a Lake George, N.Y. home were giving off radioactive gases that cause lung cancer. Hmmm… I spend a lot of time in my kitchen. Uh-oh.

Flip-Flops:

Flip-flops and sandals could be terrible for your health? That’s what experts are saying. The straps leave too much of the skin exposed to the harmful rays of the sun increasing the risk of skin cancer.

Flame Gilled Food:

This one is for you ladies! Women who eat flame-grilled food more than twice a month are 74% more likely to get breast cancer than those who do not. Wow, and to think of all the BBQs I have been to this summer.

Most of these products are used and consumed by college students on a daily basis. If they were really so dangerous, wouldn’t we all be dead by now?!